Sunday, November 23, 2014

Welcome, future travelers!

One of the things I always find myself doing when I find a blog I really like, is going back to the very first post to check out how it all started. In some cases, it feels almost like archaeology, and you dig up a gem that already seems to foreshadow all the greatness that is yet to come. For instance: the very first post over at The Bloggess is titled: "Fucking shit, we're in business". That's rock 'n roll right there.
In other cases, I'm catching up with old episodes of Buffy alongside the gang over at the AV club who did so back in 2008, and I meet someone in the comment section who is from the very same time as me, and we share a moment, and for a while it's the coolest thing until we eventually get bored of telling people in the past all the things we know and they don't.

THE TANGENT UNIVERSE IS THE PRIMARY UNIVERSE! In this way, the internet is itself the perfect illustration of my own fall-back theory when presented with time travel in fiction, stating that time would only appear to be moving forward to subjects who are inside the timeline at any given point, but to an outside observer the story would always be written in a certain way, and cannot be changed. (John Connor was always going to send Kyle Reese back in time to conceive him; there is no 'first time through'!)
The awesome thing about this is that if you're looking at the internet, where everything exists at the same time, you're getting a taste of what reality would look like to god - a jumbled mess of weird porn and cat pictures. The downside of this is that you are as much alive as you are already dead. It can be comforting too, though, to know that everything that's going to happen, has already happened in a way. Takes a lot of the pressure off when you're trying to become something.

So in honor of that, this post is for you, future travelers, going back in time to look at my very first post. I'm sorry I don't have anything for you that foreshadows future greatness apart from vague ramblings about time travel. Unless of course the future will hold only more vague ramblings, in which case: here you go. Did I spearhead a movement though? Did we knock over the very fabric of established society, to dance on its grave and celebrate with wild orgies and finger food? Did you name your child after me? Is everything hexagonal now? There was that one time we found that hexagon on Saturn and some people thought it might mean something, so I figured I'd ask. Let me know in the comments, but please keep all other spoilers to yourself. It's called netiquette.

PS: I'm sorry about global warming. That was entirely unnecessary.


  1. I just wanted to let you know that I'm from your future by, like, a month and a half. And I absolutely did just go to your very first post to read it right after reading your latest post. So "one of the things I always find myself doing when I find a blog I really like, is going back to the very first post to check out how it all started' made me laugh and wince at the same time.