"Yes, person who, when I call the next number in line, insists on shouting their own number back at me, you clearly exist. You don't just exist, though, you fascinate the hell out of me. I've always wanted to ask you what you'll think to accomplish by doing that. And there are more than one of you, so clearly it's something I ought to understand. Is it, that you think I'm wrong? Because I can assure you that the number I'm calling is the next number in line. I have equipment for that. Or do you think that, because you are obviously more important than all the other people who are waiting and I hadn't noticed you, by shouting your own number I will realize and then correct my mistake, so that it will suddenly be your turn after all? Sadly this is not how the numbers game works. I am sorry."
"Yes, adult woman who is standing in the middle of the area that says 'employees only past this point' tapping her foot and rolling her eyes like a cartoon character, I acknowledge you. I already acknowledged you ten minutes ago when I apologized for our waiting times, explained that we are understaffed and doing the best we can, and promised to keep a special eye out for your order to come through. Apparently it was foolish of me to assume this interaction would have any kind of effect on what you insist on continuing to do. Maybe these actions will, in fact, work as a magic spell to make all the other customers (you can't see them, because they are behind you in the area where customers are supposed to actually be) suddenly disappear in a Wizard of Oz type fashion. Please just carry on doing that."
"Sorry, I do not know where you can find this mystery item you are looking for, even if you were so helpful to specify that "it's white, but it comes in other colors" and is also "kind of square" and made out of "some kind of wood, but maybe not real wood". Maybe if you waited in line like everyone else instead of assaulting me with your "quick, simple question" while I'm helping somebody else, I can look it up on the computer, but even then, you are going to have to be a teensy bit more specific. Yes, I understand this is frustrating for you and I am probably very stupid for not being able to answer your question. You know who would be able to answer your question? A robot. Do you want retail workers to be replaced by robots? Don't answer that."
"Sorry, extremely drunk lady yelling incoherently, I understand that the road to get over here can be very dangerous during rush hour. I apologize. I do feel that I should point out that we didn't put it there though; that was the city's doing. Still, I understand that this is, of course, somehow my fault. I do, however, imagine that it might be somewhat less dangerous if you weren't falling down drunk at 5 pm on a Wednesday."
And to anyone who asks to speak to a manager I will say that I am the manager, after which I will continue to answer all questions through interpretive dance.
|I did not make this meme. Please don't sue me.|